Fashion discrimination

I find I've always been biased against fashions that I know won't look good on me.

With the exception of jeggings (which are God's way of marking out those who should quickly jump out of the gene pool) I have decided to acknowledge fashions that may be cool even if I cannot wear them.

I'm keeping the list brief to avoid prolonging my pain:

- heels with ankle straps
 (Why do I have fat ankles?!/why do they not make heels/sandals without the blasted things?!)


- Mini dresses/shift dresses
(I have a long body so mini dresses barely cover my arse/I have a body to speak of so shift dresses make me look like a sack on potatoes) WHY IS EVERY DRESS ON THE HIGH STREET MINI?


- Skirts that aren't made out of lycra
(Baby got back- skirts don't like big hips, I've found that on a skinny day i can wear super tight ones ok)


-Jeans
(They are yet to make a pair that fit me afore mentioned arse and thighs. Levi curve my arse.)


That's enough for one day I reckon...

Cross-dressing...

I am currently experiencing a nerdy, fashion-related indignation that when explained to people is greeted by a "you really shouldn't care about this" look. 

The topic under discussion is cross-dressing. The woman who sparked this is Lady Gaga.

I LOVE Gaga. She makes my fashion neurons happy. What I dislike is the media coverage that her performance as her male alter-ego Jo Calderone received. Apparently she has inspired a trend for more androgynous women's wear. She isn't the first woman to do this AND it was already happening. (Case and point BROGUES!) I must also take this opportunity to say she makes a fantastic man. 

I do also feel that when gender and fashion are being discussed Andrej Pejic cannot escape a mention. But, as much as I like the guy, I have read interviews in which he is very blatent about the fact that he does what is required of him to "pay back his mum's mortgage". It's not a deliberate choice of dress by him, more the choice of the designers.

I feel my thoughts on this topic are all busy and unorganised. But the person I really would like to discuss in this post is Marlene Dietrich. Now THERE'S someone that fills me with fashion joy. I have such a lady-crush on her. 

Marlene, rather than dressing as a man, dresses in men's clothing without ever communicating any question about her gender. She is very definitely a beautiful woman, a beauty that is on one hand hidden by the masculine shapes she wears and enhanced by donning the sense of power that comes from a woman wearing a suit. 

I often find myself internet-window-shopping for suits that would make me look equally as wonderful but I am not sure that I could pull it off quite correctly. After studying Marlene and other people I have encountered in my life I have come to the conclusion that a LARGE AMOUNT of make-up is required to draw a thick black mascara line between wearing masculine clothing and being a lesbian. I have lesbian friends who dress in men's clothing and I admire them for finding their clothing niché in the world but without causing offence, to put it bluntly, I want to dress like a man but still be attractive to men. This little problem is a tricky one for someone who never wears much make up but as Marlene has proved there is nothing more sexy than a woman in full make-up, with her hair done and a nice, tailored suit...

Dries Van Noten

Dries Van Noten makes me wish that I was in possession of a lot more disposable funds....

I find that although his style oozes with exuberance and nothing of his would ever be called boring. He has found the perfect balance between creating beautiful, fun clothing and going that one step too far into obscurity.

Image Source: www.style.com

His combination of different fabrics weights, patterns and colours caused me to have mini heart palpitations whilst shopping last weekend. I've always been a fan of tailoring and "neat clothing" but there is something about Dries' work that fills me with excitement and the air with muffled cries of pain from my wallet in my pocket.

Mixed Metal Jewellery

You know you love it too.

I've never jumped onto the "you should pick one colour of metal for your jewellery" bandwagon, and now feel safe to declare that the time of jewellery segregation is over!

Great news for all - particularly those who love to wear all of their favourite pieces at once (i.e moi who has just had her ears pierced again with silver studs but has primarily a gold earring collection?! )

Image Source: Mawi, http://blog.mawi.co.uk/2010/01/14/we-♥-kareena-kapoor/